Women & Finances is a new series written by a 20-something about her financial journey. Her columns will be appearing weekly here at 20smoney.com. You can read her other articles by visiting the Women & Finances category.

One way I have tried to cut back my spending recently is in the make-up department. I am an expensive make-up junkie that has not exactly been rehabilitated, but has been on the search for what make up and skin care products it’s okay to skimp and go cheap with. I am going to need reader input and advice on this one, but will share my failures and discoveries.

In the skin-care realm I have found that the inexpensive Cetaphil cleanser works great as a gentle cleanser, but it still needs to be supplemented with a good exfoliator a few times each week. I have tried and tested a multitude of cheap facial exfoliants and none work better than the expensive Kiehl’s Epidermal Retexturing Micro-Dermabrasion. This exfoliant is truly awesome and I know it’s superiority is more than just psychological. It only takes a tiny dot to give a deep scrub and the tube lasts forever. It is worth the $40.00. Now with moisturizers and eye-creams, it’s important to note that I come from the womb of a woman who swears by Creme De La Mer and spends hundreds on their creams. I have gone drug store with these products and find no difference in my skin. As long as they don’t clog pores, they do the trick. My Neutrogena moisturizer and eye cream have worked fine. A great trick I have adopted is using Johnson’s Baby Oil as an eye make-up remover. It works great and keeps the sensitive under-eye area moist.

Make-up has been a trickier animal. I have bought many types of make up at the drug store only to throw them away and end up spending even more money at the mall on the expensive brands. There is less pigment in cheap eye shadow and blush, a significant difference in mascara quality and cheap foundation doesn’t even come close to Dior AirBrush Foundation and Mac Studio Fix. Dermablend Concealer is the best at covering blemishes and under-eye circles and has a lot more pigment and quality coverage than cheap concealers. But with lip liners, glosses and lipstick I have found cheap drug store substitutes that work great. Do you need one Chanel Glossimer? Sure. But there is no need to have four of them when there are cheaper glosses out there and you can mix them with liners and lipsticks to achieve various effects. Bourjois 3D Lipgloss ($15.00) is half the price of a Chanel Glossimer ($27.00) and looks great. I get them at Ulta. I have also picked up a few great cheap and long lasting Rimmel lipliners at Ulta. There really is no gloss that stays on as long as Smashbox Limitless Long Wear Gloss, but it is $21.00 which is a bit steep and is not recommended for kissing with. For kissing, I go middle school all over again with the inexpensive drug store brand Lipsmackers but I am open to input on this.

When it comes to eyeliner, mascara and bronzer I am truly an Estee Lauder fan on all three accounts and have trouble deviating. I love Bronze Goddess and have done back to it after looking horrible with drug store bronzers that can make you look dirty or too sparkly. Bronze Goddess is truly a good median of both and the large palette is great for a large bronzer brush. Their Automatic Eye Pencil Duo is great for smudging with the sponge on the other end and I love that the sponge is capped to keep it sanitary. Estee Lauder Projectionist Mascara ($19.50) has been my favorite for a while. Even with the hype about Maybelline Great Lash and other drug store brands, I find no comparison. Projectionist makes my lashes look awesome. And has anyone found a cheap nail polish that stays on as long as OPI? I have yet to.

I would love to hear what your favorite beauty products are–especially if they save money!

Kevin says: Wow, now that is some different advice than the usual 20smoney.com content!  I hope there are some female readers out there that enjoy this article and this series!

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Women & Finances is a new series written by a 20-something about her financial journey. Her columns will be appearing weekly here at 20smoney.com. You can read her other articles by visiting the Women & Finances category.

Start holiday shopping now! Instead of running out last minute and spending top dollar for whatever you can find with time pressure to buy, keep the people you will be buying for in mind as early as right now. If you happen to stumble upon a great deal that reminds you of a family member, snatch it up and check off that person from your Holiday list and then hit up the dollar store for wrapping paper. Another great way to keep the January credit card statement from overwhelming you is to talk to siblings and friends who you will be exchanging gifts with about using a mutual spending limit. This makes gift buying easier on everyone’s wallet and will be much appreciated!

To steal a tip from food dieters, think of saving money in terms of  short term goals. Short term goals are easier to stick to because you will avoid the feeling of deprivation and see saving as more of an achieveable challenge.  When you feel deprived you will spend, which leads to a cycle of breaking the budget because you feel it is a hopeless cause. Think of all of the ways you can save for just one week. Just make it through one week without a trip to Starbucks, an expensive lunch and takeout for dinner. Brew your own coffee this week. Pack a sandwich or can of soup or hit up a dollar menu for lunch. Decide to cook dinner at home all week and use ingredients from the freezer and the pantry that you forgot you had so that you don’t need to spend a lot of money at the grocery store. Limit your groceries this week to lunch meat, bread and fresh produce. Each week, evaluate how well you stuck to your goal and try harder the next week!  This will leave room in your budget for the occasional splurge without the guilt and mounting credit statement.

This tip came from a reader: if you see something you really want to buy, wait at least a week. If you are still thinking about this item the next time you are shopping, then maybe it is worth it. But all too often we impulse buy and then cast that item or article of clothing that we just couldn’t live without aside and forget about it, never to be worn again. The newness of something wears off quickly leaving you with nothing special to show for mounting debt that you will acrue interest on. Impulsive shopping is the problem. Impulse buys only give a temporary high that’s gone long before you receive your credit card statement.  So stick to a waiting period and think over your purchases, making sure it’s not an impulsive purchase.

Don’t buy expensive sunglasses.  They are one of the biggest rip offs and brand name sucker jobs. You are the only one that notices how cool you look in them.  Find a pair that flatter your face from a discount store. The $300 glasses break and get lost just as easily as the cheap ones from Ross, TJ Maxx and Marshalls.  Expensive sunglasses are made of plastic in the same Chinese factories as the cheap ones.  Don’t be a sucker.

Ask yourself if you would like the clothing item that you are tempted to buy if you didn’t know it was a popular or expensive brand. Pretend that you see this clothing item at Kmart and you don’t know the brand name. Would you still like it? Or is the brand power and marketing selling you on something that is truly not that flattering or attractive and certainly not worth the pretty penny it would cost?  I have overspent on many clothing items that allured me at the store because of brand or a fleeting fad (like those jumpers this summer) but that I NEVER wear.  Analyze why you like something and make sure it is because it looks great on you or walk away.

I hope this quick list of ways to save money will help you keep a little more cash in your pocket.  Also, these ideas might help you think of other ways to save money!

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Women & Finances is a new series written by a 20-something about her financial journey. Her columns will be appearing weekly here at 20smoney.com. You can read her other articles by visiting the Women & Finances category.

At some point in the past few years I tired of the mindless yapping of skeezy radio deejays and their discussions about celebrity gossip and sexual positions. I am now a full-fledged convert to AM talk radio. Not only does it provide news and intellectual stimulation for a stay-at-home mom while running her errands but my tiny passenger is easily lulled to sleep by the deep male voices of Glenn, Rush, Neil, Sean and Dave.

As I was in the car earlier this week, financial guru Dave Ramsey was really hammering a point about the behavior of millionaires. He was saying that we hold misconceptions about rich people because we tend to think that they were always rich or just got lucky. But this is not true. He sighted studies and statistics on the behavior of millionaires to demonstrate that people who are millionaires have conservative spending and saving habits in common that got them to the point of being millionaires. He asserted that we can all become millionaires if we heed what millionaires do and behave like them. Dave said that a minutely small percent of millionaires lease cars (most have always paid outright for what they can afford) and only a small percentage of millionaires live in houses worth over a million dollars. He said that close to 73% of people who live in houses worth over a million dollars are not millionaires! Not only does this mean that there are a lot of people living in houses far above their means, but according to the study many millionaires live in houses well below their means. The point I took away is that most “millionaires” are just regular people who worked hard and lived below their means, allowing them to save enough money to one day retire.

As I listened to Dave, I had this view in my head of all the “dumb people” who live above their means and spend like they are millionaires when they are not. But it hit me over the head a few minutes later that I was one of those people. My natural tendency is to whip out my credit card and buy things that there is no room for in the budget. As I drive through a nearby neighborhood, I always look longingly at a large gorgeous home for sale set behind huge oaks trees on a sprawling green lawn and wonder just how much money my husband would need to make for us to buy this house. I wonder if it will still be on the market when we are ready to upgrade. Why do I automatically assume that we will upgrade homes as soon as we can afford to!? This is silly because if our budget is tight now, even if he gets a raise we will remain tight if we take on a larger mortgage and upgrade our lifestyle. Sheesh. Thinking like this and using credit cards to spend above our means (which I tend to do), will certainly never allow us to save enough money to be comfortable later in life.

Dave revealed to me that I am certainly not a millionaire in the making. But with my new awareness that we can all become millionaires by altering our spending habits, I am now on the road to becoming one.

With a more conservative perspective on spending from my Dave Ramsey lesson, I proceeded to make two spending choices this week. One good and one bad.

Dollar Stores & Pregnancy Tests

The first occurred at an outing to the dollar store. If you do not go to the dollar store, you very well should! You can save a lot of money on items that you would regularly purchase at the grocery store. From napkins and paper plates to wrapping paper, cards, pet products and cleaning products, its amazing what you can save on things that you buy regulary. But my latest and most exciting discovery at Dollar Tree this week were pregnancy tests! Yes–pregnancy tests for one dollar! For those of you who who are male or just never question if you are prego, this is much cheaper than the $13.00 you pay at the grocery store for a test. So I stocked up, patted myslef on the back and went on my merry way. My hubby was very pleased that evening about this bargain that I had discovered as he has privately joked that we should have a budget category for this item because of my neurotic need to always just “make sure”.

Falling Victim To “Sales”

My second and not so successful spending decision this week occurred as I strolled at an outdoor shopping village on a cool sunny day. With my daughter in her stroller, I had resolved to just enjoy the sights, sounds and beautiful cool air without spending any money. But then I saw it. A giant sign in the window of one of my favorite clothing retailer stores said SALE! Even though I had reached the spending limit in our budget for the month, of course my husband would be pleased if I got some great deals and saved us money! I went in and sure enough got some spectacular deals on fall sweaters and a pair of shoes.

But when my husband got home that night and I began excitedly chirping about the great deals I had found and paraded in holding up my new beautiful boots, he was not as pleased with the money I had “saved” as I thought he would be. He brought it to my attention that I had not only NOT actually saved money, but I had spent money. He was also tired of hearing about sales because anytime that he has to dip into savings to pay off our credit card on any given month it is always because of some sale. At first I pitched a fit because he could not appreciate the incredible deals and what I had got for so little. But as I think about it more I know that he is right. Without him to keep me in check I would sale-shop myself into major credit card debt. The stores are smart and there will always be some enticing sale somewhere to lure you in and remove the guilt from spending money that you don’t have. Sure, if you have the money for a few new things and you go with a shopping list, make sure you get things that are on sale, but my lesson learned is that walking into a sale with no “needs” and no money in the budget for new clothes is dangerous.

In summation, my road to becoming a millionaire this week has had its ups and downs. From now on I will never pay $13 for a pregnancy test. And I am determined to stop falling prey to the psychological marketing strategy behind those huge store window SALE signs.

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Women & Finances is a new series written by a 20-something about her financial journey. Her columns will be appearing weekly here at 20smoney.com. You can read her other articles by visiting the Women & Finances category.

Just when I thought I had somewhat conquered my crazy spending habits and my husband and I ceased to fight about money on a weekly basis, two pink lines appeared on the pregnancy test. Nine months later, we decided to sacrifice my income so that I could stay at home with our daughter. Though I am grateful that this is even an option financially for our family, as a young stay-at-home mom I often succumb to the plaguing “If only we had more money…” thoughts.

As a nursing mother who rarely left the house and no longer “got dressed” every day, I did not initially feel the tightened budget. But life has finally adjusted back to normal from the sleep-deprived, milk-leaking, zombie days of a new mommy. And with the greater energy and ability to take outings with my eight-month old I find myself noticing the the lifestyle cramp of a one income household. The shopping ability and discretionary spending I once thought was pretty limited (but doable) has now plummeted to zero.

The income loss is not only more noticeable because spend-happy outings like trips to mall and “quick runs” to Target and Whole Foods have become my daily events to get out of the house, but as our baby girl grows we have the added need of baby gear and clothes for each new stage and size. I find myself addicted to surfing online retail stores for all of the latest and greatest in lightweight strollers, bicycle seats, frilly little girl clothes and a plethora of other baby items and gadgets that I never knew existed before becoming a parent . And oh am I starting to feel the absence of new clothes for myself, pricey hair cuts, expensive date nights and sushi take-out. Having less money has certainly prompted that lust for “things” again and tension over spending has resurfaced as a point of disharmony in our marriage.

It’s no surprise that my adjustment to the role of mommy, maid, and cook coinciding with the lack of “sexy” that money used to buy would have me feeling less than glamorous these days. To be perfectly honest, I find myself drifting into reveries about how I can generate some extra cash, truly thinking that more money would be the key to financial freedom.

It is with this discontented state of mind that I headed off to a baby play-date one sunny morning.

I had randomly met another young mom who invited us over so that our little girls could be friends. That day, my cooing daughter and I made our way to a google-mapped address which led us to the guard gate of an exclusive neighborhood nestled among a beautiful chain of lakes. If my eyes didn’t turn green at this point they certainly did when I pulled into a long drive at the end of which a stunning lake-front mansion peaked out from behind luscious and immaculately manicured landscaping. I had known that my new friend’s husband was a professional athlete but I hadn’t expected the surprising feelings that would accompany having a peak into their charmed lifestyle. I don’t think anyone would publicly say that they aren’t happy for the blessings of others, but it was sure hard to ignore my inner thoughts and comparisons as I received a tour of this enormous, beautifully appointed home with designer decor, a fabulous pool, hot tub, outdoor fireplace and boat dock with multiple boats and jet skis all belonging to my 20-something acquaintance. The baby’s nursery was straight out of a Pottery Barn catalog with every conceivable personalized (and expensive) touch. It was hard not to feel that my sweet daughter would not somehow be smarter, happier, or better off if this were her nursery! On the outside I was polite, sweet and conversational but on the inside I was battling big time envy.

In conversation that day it came up that my friend owned at least ten pair of Tory Burch flats because they were just so “practical”. We laughed about her online shopping addition and as if on cue the doorbell rang and my friend hauled two large brown packages from Neiman Marcus inside the door. Well at least she can afford to indulge her addiction, I thought.

As I was lusting over her fabulous lifestyle and financial freedom, she laughingly mentioned that she would have to hide her new deliveries in order to avoid a fight with her husband. I’m sure I rolled my eyes. How could people with a personal chef, personal trainer and maid service fight about money? They certainly had enough for any responsible person to live it up while still saving plenty, right? As if sensing my silent judgement she proceeded to tell me how squeezed her husband feels with so much real estate debt from the big house and vacation homes in addition to the business ventures and lifestyle they have grown accustomed to. She said that all of it has unintentionally stretched their income to the max and that “you can never have enough”. She said that money is the number one thing that they fight about. I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me as bankrupt millionaires end up in the news all of the time. But hearing her say these things helped me realize my own folly.

If they still didn’t have “enough”, then maybe my idea of “enough” is only an illusion. If rich people still spent more than they should, how can I assume I would learn to live within a larger budget if we somehow made more money? I started to understand that maybe learning to live within my means (whether large or small) is the secret to contentment and financial freedom rather than having more money.

On my way home that day I thought about a college friend of mine who dropped out to get married. She and her husband both work low wage jobs now and live paycheck to paycheck to pay the rent and bills. She doesn’t have new clothes and expensive shoes but she is the most content person I have ever met. They do not use debt to finance a lifestyle that they cannot afford and she does not seem to mind that she doesn’t look and dress like Paris Hilton. While I am not advocating her choice of dropping out of college and living paycheck to paycheck, there is a freedom that she possesses that my rich friend does not. Sure, sometimes I get the “not in service” message when I call her cell but I have never once heard her poor-mouth, complain about money or lust about things. She is happy with what they have and even though I have more, I am not.

I have certainly realized through this reduction in our family’s income and my resulting mentality as well as my envy of my rich friend that money is still my master. As trite as it sounds, I am currently learning that contentment is not about how much we have, but about adjusting our lifestyle and being happy with what we have. What I have is enough. I just need to learn to live within smaller means than before. I also need purge myself of a culture of comparison and what advertisers tell me I “deserve”. With the way I have been acting, I am so glad that my daughter is not yet old enough to observe my lustful attitude towards money and things.

Do you max what you have to the limit or do you responsibily adjust to live within your means while saving for the future? It’s easier said than done, but there is not enough money in the world to eliminate your financial stress and marital strife if you cannot learn to be content with what you have–right now.

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Women & Finances is a new series written by a 20-something about her financial journey.  Her columns will be appearing weekly here at 20smoney.com.  You can read her other articles by visiting the Women & Finances category.

I’ll be honest. My past spending habits are a source of personal embarrassment and discussing them certainly risks perpetuating negative gender stereotypes about women. It’s true, as a woman I have the uncanny ability to look into a closet packed with hundreds of garments and shoes and see absolutely nothing to wear. Any wedding/graduation/birthday party invitation that arrives in the mail elicits the same thought–”I need a new dress”! As I pass by a polished and strategically alluring window of an uppity retail store I experience a brief moment of feeling that I’d somehow be happier/skinnier/more svelte if my $300.00 Coach tote was traded up for a $1,000.00 Gucci hobo. At any given moment I can think of at least three beauty appointments that I could desperately use whether it be highlight upkeep, eyebrow threading, bikini waxing, pedicure, manicure, facial, teeth bleaching, spray tanning or just a shine treatment and blow-dry to start out the weekend with good hair. And for no reason and every reason, be it that I am bored, depressed, or just feeling undesirable and dull, I find that I gravitate towards the mall to fix the situation. Do I sound shallow yet?

And I wondered where my money went.

The beginning of my financial reconciliation and the sole reason I began to question my habits at all was this: I got married. There is nothing like a joint bank account (and a noticing husband) to make you wake up to ridiculous spending habits. The realization was jarring. I thought of myself as a generous, selfless and nonmaterialistic person. So when my patient husband sat down with me and our bank statement after being married for one month to show me that I spent over $1,000.00 in 30 days on a category that he considered “shopping and beauty” I was shocked, defensive and argumentative. But he loved my hair when I had it done! He loved my perfectly pedicured feet! He complimented me in those hot new little outfits! The catch was that he no idea what it was costing us.

See, when the paycheck was all mine and no one else saw where it went (shoot I didn’t even pay attention to where it went!) it was easy to blow. My husband made me aware that I had zero savings to show for two years of making $40k a year after college and living at home with zero expenses before we were married! That’s right, I blew $80k (before taxes) on…what I looked like. Grab the vomit bag. It can’t be that these things really made me any happier, so why is it that I would fritter away each paycheck at the mall and salons without a second thought? My answer to this question has slowly emerged in the process of fixing my financially destructive ways.

It was a slow struggle each month thereafter to learn that I could do my own hair for “important” nights out, pedicure my own toenails and better organize my closet so that I could see what I owned, making it easier to get dressed without frustration and the temptation to run out to the mall. But the main answer to the question of why I struggled with overspending came to me in a church sermon. The pastor was talking about why we tithe and quoted a Bible verse that said “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be.” Treasure meaning money, he made the point that if you want to know what a person cares about you should look at their checkbook (or online bank statement for those of us who don’t own a checkbook). This reminded me of how my husband intentionally got me interested in the Superbowl game every year by betting on a team under my name. Suddenly, I would pay attention to every play because I had money in it—where your money is, there your heart will be! It was true.

I realized from this that it was important to pay attention to where I was putting my money because it indicated something about my heart. If I spent every last nickel on my appearance, no matter how hard I tried to delude myself , I was still a shallow, vain and materialistic woman. I realized that by not paying attention to my finances and not budgeting out my spending, money became my master. Suddenly I was sacrificing my marriage and the security of our financial future to satisfy every frivolous whim that I deemed “necessary”. It wasn’t worth it. I had to face each month with a plan and exercise self control with an awareness of my budget or I would continue to be a slave to spending.

It has been a continual process of becoming a master over money instead of money mastering me, but my perspective has certainly shifted and something in me has changed.

Have you looked at your online bank statement lately? What have you put your worth in? What is your fix?

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